The Vow of Silence and a Five Day Retreat - Malta

The Vow of Silence followed by a retreat!

I am taking a vow of silence raising awareness for women and children of Domestic Violence; Starts NOW, Monday 19th January 2015 and ends Friday 23rd of January, 2015 at 7:30pm. I will not enter Valletta this week and there will be no further posts online anywhere from me, nor emails until the end of this personal protest.

…THE MALTA UNIVERSITY ‘CHAPEL’ HAVE WITHDRAWN THEIR SUPPORT, WHILE I WAS ATTEMPTING TO MAKE THE SIGN THAT I AM HOLDING IN THIS PICTURE WITH A BURROWED BLUE TEXTER AND LOOSE NOTE PAPER THAT CAME FROM THEIR OFFICE BY CONSENT.

The Report

Ok so here it is the REPORT with regards the vow of silence that I have taken for five days from Monday 19th of January, 2015 till Today Friday 23rd of January, 2015… ended at 6:30pm. MONDAY 19th: It was all running smooth with regards to remaining silent until a female police officer startled me; who woke me up after I fell asleep on the park bench at approximately 7pm-ish. I woke up and said ‘OMG’ but she was only checking to see if I was OK and I said, ‘yes, I’m fine’. She asked a few times but I only answered once and walked away quietly. She was only doing her job. TUESDAY 20th: All good until 11pm-ish when I fell asleep on the communal couch that is located on the ground floor of the flats neighboring the Berlitz English School; Jeff woke me up, I only sighed in surprise and walked out while he was trying to accuse me of lying to him but I never spoke a word to him and just kept walking away quietly; in these situations it’s really hard to keep your mouth shut. I had no where else to go and headed back to The Alborada Aparthotel Block in hope the Menace pub was still without tenants and luckily it was vacant but still very cold with that sea breeze coming in the early hours of the morning. I slept there for the reminder of the week since I already had prior consent by the man claiming to be the owner, Mr Renald Attard. WEDNESDAY 21st: All good no hassles; was challenged to answer questions but kept quiet and I must mention what a challenge it was to get hot water without asking, I had to use the old pointing system and approached the counter of the shops with staff who know what I normally go there for; when they were not working I went without in order to keep my vow of Silence. THURSDAY 22nd: I woke up at 4:30am and headed around the corner to get hot water, as I was absolutely freezing my ass off; I approached the only coffee shop that was open at that time but the owner refused me half a cup to keep my hands warm; he wanted his one euro! In the cup I was holding, I had some fennel leaves/shredding from the night before stuck to the bottom with a bit of sugar and a customer, as I was walking away, tried to accuse me of having marijuana in my cup. I was frustrated because I could not talk to him so I put the cup up to his nose to smell the fennel and get a good look at it before making such an accusation but he still wasn’t satisfied and chased me out the door swearing at me, threatening abuse. I wasn’t scared of him at all but simply trying to avoid him in order to keep my vows; however, due to him following me out the door and at the top of his voice calling me every name under the sun, I stuck middle finger at him a few times and couldn’t help laughing at his stupidity. In front of his three mates he was acting very big, challenging me to fight him but at the same time, keeping a safe distance away from me. I walked away calmly, however, should he have thrown the first punch, I would not have hesitated in sitting him on his ass with my front two knuckles and I was walking slow enough for him to catch up if that’s what he really wanted. Then I had to try and find somewhere else for hot water so I walked all the way to Paceville knowing there are shops there that open early, however, still couldn’t speak but was determined to find a way to ask for it. When I arrived in Bystreet Shopping Complex, everything was shut and had to wait for Costa Coffee to open so I decided to go to the toilet and wash my face and that’s where I noticed hubby voice and that of an Italian girl coming from behind the locked female toilet main door, so I used the disabled toilet instead. When I came out of the toilet I noticed the doors to the bay street hotel wide open and the cleaners were keeping a close eye on me, making sure hubby was kept informed of my every move. I couldn’t believe what I just walked into - I was only there for hot water initially and then it started raining and I wasn’t in the position to go anywhere, so I was bored and kind of stuck there. The sun came out mid afternoon and so I exited the bay street shopping complex and again noticed hubby waiting in the corner monitoring my movements but this time on a delivery motorbike, watching me closely and therefore, I turned back to the Bay Street Complex to avoid him and sure enough he followed me there, entering the Bay Street Hotel for discretion. I have reason to believe that they both spent the night at the Bay Street Hotel, a hotel that is supposedly closed to the public for refurbishments;;; Shortly after, I noticed the same Italian girl (from that morning, who was locked in the girls toilet with hubby) entering the complex and keeping a sharp eye on me from inside the shop; she noticed I was attentive and made a dummy purchase and then changed direction and left the complex very quickly. I didn’t appreciate both of them monitoring me, I felt stalked and was frankly getting fed up with it so I tried to approach her to ask her to leave me alone but she was too quick on her feet and led me to the ESE European English School; which I did not enter. By that point I lost interest in her and intended to leave the area but again it started raining heavily so I was forced to take shelter under the front entrance of the hotel across the road waiting for the rain to stop. As soon as it did, hubby came racing around the corner on his delivery scooter and entered The Valentina Hotel Car Park at the rear of the building – right in front of me - which compelled me to stay put, I mean there was no point going anywhere, as it would only make him follow me there too. Then after he disappeared so did that Italian student from the ESE Language School, who quickly came out of the building and met him around the corner on a different scooter, a hired one this time and they both sped off. ‘Gee’, I thought to myself, he must really have some friends around here. Anyway, I thought it was wonderful in a sense as I can finally have some peace of mind hoping they have finally pissed off; and I headed back to the bay street complex to change direction and away from them but again I was in for another surprise. Guess who turns up at The Bay Street Complex? Yep that’s right… and his little English Student that he gets from the ESE Language School (she’s not the first that’s come from there); it’s a different one each week because they are naive and can not speak English and therefore, they can not read my posts on LinkedIn. The Maltese Girls Talk and he can’t afford to f**k it up with another Maltese or next time he might be the one who’s up again all odds, a battle that he’s not capable of winning single handedly, UNLIKE ME!!! So here we were at the Bay Street Shopping Complex playing Cat and Mouse; me trying to get rid of them until he finally leaves on his new sports road bike (motorbike) that I have no question how he got it – when you’re colluding with corrupt cops, it’s called bribery. It was getting late and I was tired so I headed back to the Alborada Aparthotel and guess who takes a room upstairs all last night until 5:30pm today (Friday)? Yep you guessed it, my darling husband and his little Italian ESE Student. I mean it’s been raining all day and I’ve been itching to go somewhere but had no where to go nor anything to do and furthermore, I am only sleeping there because I have nowhere else… not the mention the efforts I’ve gone to keep that bloody sea breeze out of my sleeping area, (which I can certainly do without it each morning), using bed sheets and curtains to block it out;;; and then I had to put up with hubby up stairs all day and everybody in the building covering his sorry little ass and hers, playing two faced with me! During this time, I have spoken to no one other than what I have mentioned above, referring to that police officer only and the rest was just a little laughter and sighs of surprise…

I did proceed to Paceville and got caught out in the rain; as you can imagine I have been itching to liaise with businesses all week with regards to sealing the deal for office space to run my campaign, I couldn't wait any longer. I thought I'd spend whats left of the night cancelling out one person from my list of prospects - Mr Joe Camilleri, the Director of the Tropicana Hotel in Paceville (found him at the new supermarket they opened down the road). What I needed from him was access via the door for the office that I am looking at taking on sponsorship, which adjoins to his hotel (the toy shop) because access via the front door is restricted during the week and that's not going to suffice with the long hours I need to put into it. Unfortunately Mr Camilleri was not open to the idea of me running such a campaign and also declined any sponsorship arrangement. I also paid a visit to Lords Kickboxing Gym and spoke to an instructor for personal kick-boxing training, an Australian man, for when I am employed, as I want to get back in the ring. After my vow of Silence ended I e-mailed Mr Owen Bonici with the same information that I posted online via LinkedIn; other ministers were carbon copied to gain their attention with regards to my concerns about my husbands welfare. I hope you all realize that this is not revenge - I don't do revenge, as there is the 'Mirror of Justice' mentioned in our Littines of Our Lady and that to me is enough – but simply out of concern; I do however, ask for justice on a daily basis. I want you all to understand how it feel if your daughters were treated like sex objects and used for the propose of pleasuring a man who holds the position of power in government (just like you would treat a prostitute). Can you also try and understand how it would feel if your daughters came home with a sexually transmitted disease and suddenly pregnant... just to be fed the abortion pill against her knowledge because of dealings with corrupt cops by the very man who disregards their feelings and right to safety. I AM A MOTHER TOO AND IF SOMEONE DID THIS TO MY DAUGHTER, I WOULD WANT HIS BALLS NAILED TO THE WALL IN COURT AND BRING HIM TO JUSTICE PUBLICALLY. Women are sexy but not sex objects there is a big difference; for men who want a sex object they can purchase a blow up doll from the local sex shop - they all sell them - one with no feeling and is immune to STD's and unwanted pregnancies. And just to finish my post for this morning, I went for a walk a was offered coffee by a securty guard who is no doubt against violence to women; hat's off to him, they are not all the same! After that I accidently ran into a printing business and decided to stop and have a brief chat with regard to my campaign, I am needing business cards and some other forms of print media. He happened to have a background in the media and is happy to support my campaign with regards to involving the media. I am not going to the newspapers (as per his suggested contact person), because I already have one offering free advertising to effectively expose my campaign when I am ready to start the Street March. There was some small talk exchanged and jokes. I made it clear that I am under no circumstances a victim of Domestic Violence but something that I have experienced to make a difference in that area for others who have forgotten their Metrical power; once women are united (instead of divided) they are a force not to be reckoned with. Women are not victims, we are very powerful individuals who have made some very bad choices in life and need support and unity with each other to overcome the consequences of such poor decision making, as a result of (a) a stale culture and (b) learned behavior. Our attitude should be, 'I am women, don't f**k with me ass hole!' Thank you to The Box Office this morning (digital printing press) for the chit chat, I hope you can assist us with alternative media exposure in the near future; as may be required from time to time. I haven't got a lot of time this morning to edit this post so please try and comprehended any typing errors, if any; as I have to head back to Msida to collect my bread or I will go hungry this weekend. There's no point on relying on bus drivers after this morning, when I got caught out in the rain and hailed a bus down to take me only a few stops up because I was shivering and soaking wet (trying to explain to him that I can not afford a ticket and homeless), who didn't give a shit… Because of him, I had to take my shoes off and run from Msida to Sliema all the way up the hill to make the opening hours of this council office quicker, to avoid getting wetter than wet. Ps: I am fed up with certain people illegally recording conversation content under the instruction of a very corrupt detective, without my consent just to abuse it by way digital editing; should anything surface, in terms of communication that I did not engage for the purpose of incriminating, discrediting and/or destabilizing me, I will not hesitate to go straight to the top (and the press) and I will not only expose this gutless detective, his name, his address and his family connections but also the business who may have engaged in such despicable levels of corruption. My daughter used to always say to me, Mum don't worry about anything because cheaters get disqualified and so will they. Just to point out this last note in my conclusion: I have not liaised with lawyers all week and therefore, my separation court case that I initially filed against hubby is now closed and our marriage still intact – a case that I do not wish to pursue any further. My husband provoked the split by throwing on the ground My Holy Statue of Mary; if I was Muslim, he would have died for that!

Upon completing my vow of Silence I posted my conclusion and have experienced what I describe as the quiet treatment; it's always a good sign my dad used to tell me, it means I am winning the fight against corruption …but only with The Lord; we must not forget where our glory comes from!.

The 5-Day Retreat

As of January 24th, 2015 (5pm) I went on a religious retreat to be closer to God; and therefore, I remained in my sleeping quarters in solitude all week until 11:15am-ish on Thursday 29th of January 2015. I spoke to no one except when I needed to re-fill my bottle of water, which I did from the hairdressers downstairs. The fasting was difficult because I was already hungry but made an effort and the rest (as shown on the above schedule) I stuck to.

During my retreat I was the subject to gossip; there are people in this country with just too much time on their hands, doing everything in their power to disturb my peace.

I also experienced un-wanted visitors in the early hours of the morning loitering on the bench seat beneath where I sleep - they certainly were not there for me, as I do not know anyone in the Alborada Building (except for my husband coming in and out with his ‘joy-riders’, while impersonating tenants for discretion - that I unfortunately had to witness and tolerate); and I am certainly not associated with these early birds who use the bench space belonging to the Menace Pub beneath where I sleep. They appeared to be foreign men judging by their telephone conversations.

To fix this problem, I taped a sign on the window of the Menace Pub where everyone can see it (on Monday morning); which read, ‘To Whom It May Concern, The Menace Pub is private property and completely separate to the Alborada Apart/Hotel and is currently being occupied by way of private arrangement and with the owners consent; who is currently helping someone in need. Please refrain from disturbing this occupant who keeps to oneself. On behalf of Mr Attard (the owner), Thank you, kindly… and to forward all complaints to The Minister of Justice, Mr Owen Bonnici.’; unfortunately the sign only works with English speaking individuals.

…and finally; in terms of my separations case that I initially filed against my husband, Mr Bradley Agius, I’ve been compromised by a legal-aid system that’s already under strain and as a result the case is now closed and our marriage is still intact. I have not received any court notices what so ever since then, regarding the matter. This morning, there was a delivery man looking for a lady called Ms A Micallef, to serve a document on her and that happened just as I was packing up my sleeping quarters but that’s all I heard; there was nothing there for me.

Furthermore, I do not wish to pursue the matter any further and therefore intend to live out the remaining three years until such time that I am able to legally get divorced. Our current status is that we are still legally married but living apart, refraining from co-habitation. Under NO CIRCUMSTNCES will I ever consent to annulment, as I have mentioned this before because I feel strongly that my husband is old enough to take responsibility for his own actions - he is not a minor, who proposed and consented to the marriage on his own accord; and my decision is final.

I will not be entering Valletta at all till April, 2015 - will keep you posted on that; I need to focus on the running the campaign around here first and that is my priority.